five foot one

Self actualise: step 1.

fivefootone — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 00:11:17 +0000

On Friday morning I had a vivid dream that felt like a message from the universe that I’ve been asking to receive. It didn’t offer any clear cut message, but acted as a catalyst for me to start a discussion about some issues that had been stalking me for the best part of a year. With Mars retro in Virgo, I know I’m not supposed to start any kind of arguments but last night’s confrontation seemed perfectly timed… and perhaps in the long run I’ll ‘lose out’, but I’m not entirely sure that would be a bad thing.

There’s uncertainty – there’s always uncertainty, but I’m getting back on my feet. My emotional anxieties are dissipating, and I’m starting to feel connected to the universe – visions, moments, dreams and messages… I’m moving past the point of interested spectator, into active participant. Finally the world beyond what we can see and touch is opening up, and I’m beginning to realise the momentum and gravity of 2012. This is the year where old baggage is dropped, lines are crossed and there’s no looking back.

Clear aid.

fivefootone — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 09:46:52 +0000

Moon waxing in Pisces.

All intentions set during the New Moon on Monday are starting to germinate, slowly but surely. At this stage though, it’s too early to tell how exactly they’ll sprout. The moon waxing in Pisces over the next couple of days can help us to evaluate what things we need to release, while preparing and inviting visions for the future. Release the redundant to clear space for the new. Stay attuned and listen to your intuition – Pisces is the sign of visions, dreams and psychic insights. Pay attention to your inner monologue and trust what it has to say.

I decided to or…

fivefootone — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 07:51:09 +0000

I decided to originate the future.

- Arthur Rimbaud

Simple and apt, this is the resolution for such an ultra-Uranian year.

Clean house.

fivefootone — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 09:58:32 +0000

Moon waning in Libra.

We’re in the dark moon phase until Monday. During this period, we can benefit from taking some time out, thinking about the things in our lives that are no longer giving us value or joy, and letting go. Libra corresponds with balance and relationships, providing us with an opportunity to contemplate the role different people play in our lives. Is there anyone in your life who is holding you back from being your true and authentic self? Are there relationships that need re-evaluating? Monday’s new moon falls in Aquarius, a sign tied to realising and embracing your innate, unique personal vision. Use this dark moon to clear the way for deeper, more real relationships in 2012.

Inescapable.

fivefootone — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 10:35:32 +0000

I feel really sick when I stop and think about him. How stupid I was and how irresponsible and unjustifiable that is. I was 26 going on 13, naive and voiceless, so deeply involved and desperate for him to care about me. I’ve started reading Monkey Grip and the themes have reminded me of where I was just a year ago… There are things I am not certain about, that terrify me intensely and are so intensely serious. I’ve spent 12 months successfully pushing the issues away but they come up every now and then, and will keep coming up until I find the balls to deal with them. The fact of the matter is everything is probably fine – I don’t think he would have intentionally foisted any of the things I’m worried about onto me. We drifted apart and didn’t work out – and it was, in total, a horrible experience – but I know he is a kind person in his own way, and he cared about me on some level. But then I think about the things he did that he only ever eluded to in passing. Things that I didn’t think anyone with any sense did anymore. He spoke of his actions sometimes in past tense, other times in more recent context. As I read about Nora’s desperate, pure love for Javo, I remember little snapshots – stuff that I didn’t think about at the time that now seem sinister, worrying.

How could I have been so stupid?

The fact of the matter is everything is probably fine… but I guess the slight possibility of something awful being wrong eclipses all rationality, and my biggest instinct is to keep my head stuck in the sand.

Inescapable.

fivefootone — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 10:21:43 +0000

The Folk Implosion – Jenny’s Theme.

Another one. All the songs these guys produced for the Kids soundtrack were incredible.

Fight This Generation.

fivefootone — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 10:16:41 +0000

Pavement – Fight This Generation.

Fucking love this song.

FIGHT THIS GENERATION. Stop right.

Day of the Goddess.

fivefootone — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 12:55:36 +0000

Moon waning in Virgo.

Friday – day of Venus; 13 – the number of the Goddess. Honor the feminine.

I did exactly that by watching The Iron Lady tonight – one screen goddess portraying the representation of ultra-feminine strength.

It’s a dark moon rising as well. Time to rest, retreat, clean up and take care of yourself.

Bliss hunt.

fivefootone — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 10:36:30 +0000

I’m bored at work.

Which means I’m not following my bliss.

But how do I do that

when I have no idea what my bliss looks like?

I used to think it involved writing, words, and opinions but I’m not so sure anymore. Academia at some point. Not sure about that either. Something creative. No idea what creative even means.

The world is a mass of unknown ideas at this point. Overwhelming but exciting. My bliss is out there, waiting to be discovered. I’m releasing my intention to the universe right now and will trust that my journey will lead me to a place where I really belong.

My vision for 2012 is to find a piece of myself – to expand my consciousness – to feel a deep and enduring shift – to gain strength – to confront my issues – to grow more into a human being.

Golden and fading.

fivefootone — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 09:31:20 +0000

Moon waning in Leo: Break things down; plot creative schemes; clean windows, mirrors – revel in the reflection at the same time.